Everyone posts a holiday survival guide; here’s the better-late-than-never, wombat-approved, guide to surviving any festive occasion.

1. You’re allowed to eat things you like.

Food is fuel, yes, but it is also love and togetherness and tradition. Food is memory: My grandmother’s delicate swan-shaped cream puffs that seemed impossibly beautiful to me as a child. My dad’s panettone on Christmas morning, golden, tender with butter and scented with bitter orange. My sister’s paper-wrapped pan forte, warm and rich with ginger and hazelnuts, pulled from a coat pocket in the snow. The soft, almost marzipan-like pignoli and rainbow cookies I make every year because they remind me of Christmases in New York City, and there are no Italian bakeries here. I would eat any of those things, given the chance, without guilt because a healthy lifestyle includes celebration and joy.

 If you don’t know what these are, you’re missing out.

2. You’re allowed to not eat things you don’t want to eat. 

Even if your aunt made it or everyone else at the office is eating it, if it’s not going to feel like a rainbow-colored explosion of concentrated holiday cheer in your mouth, and it doesn’t support your goals, you don’t have to eat it. You don’t have to explain your reasons for saying no, or cite a dietary restriction. If someone persists in pushing a food on you after you’ve politely declined, they’re the one who’s being rude.

3. Plan ahead, but don’t lose your mind doing it.

If I know I have an evening party, I might compensate by eating a little less fat and carbs earlier in the day. But I’m also not going to eat 6 almonds and a spear of asparagus all day and arrive starving– I want to eat treats because I enjoy them, not devour them because I’ve hardly eaten all day. And if I do overindulge, I don’t compensate by crash dieting the next day, since hunger deprivation will only make me more likely to overeat again. Just refer to #1, and continue on as usual, without guilt.

4. Bloating is like the tides. Don’t beat yourself up over a force of nature.

My weight fluctuates significantly from day to day, sometimes by as much as 4-5# (2kg). Salt, carbohydrates, exercise, stress, sleep deprivation, changes in bowel habits, dehydration, hormones, alcohol, or certain foods my system dislikes can all cause significant acute changes on the scale that have nothing to do with body fat, because any rapid changes in weight are due to fluid shifts. Those sudden spikes in weight go away over a few days without changing anything about the way I eat and exercise. So if you’ve been on a plane, had a big meal, stayed up late, had a few drinks while listening to your in-laws argue about politics, and the scale is up a few pounds, don’t panic! Allow a little time for your life to return to normal and your weight will too.

 My weight, trended over a month. I took no corrective actions to return to baseline after those spikes

5. You’re not a failure at life even if you do gain some fat over the holidays. 
Your body will reflect whatever it is that you do consistently. If November and December are a constant stream of calorie-dense goodies in excess of your needs, you may end up storing some of that energy for later. If that is the case, it’s nothing to be ashamed of (see #1) or panic about. You don’t need to go on a 1200 calorie/day diet. You don’t need to do a cleanse, or a boot camp, or two-a-day workouts (unless those specifically support your training goals). Overcorrecting for the holidays by making drastic changes to your diet and exercise will set you up for short-term success but long-term disappointment when those habits can’t be sustained forever (or worse, when you get sick or injured because you’re overworked with not enough food for recovery). Let consistency work in your favor, and go back to eating an appropriate amount of food and doing an exercise that you enjoy. Small adjustments, sustained over time, can get you lasting results.
  This is also a valid approach to the holidays 

6. Respond to every comment about your body as if it were a sincere compliment.

This strategy makes passive-aggressive underminers extremely uncomfortable, and you can enjoy watching them squirm instead of nursing hurt feelings. For example, this is an actual conversation I had:

Negative Nancy: “Ew, your thighs are getting so big.”

Me: “Thank you, isn’t it awesome?! I’ve been working really hard on them at the gym!”

NN: “…..”

For the “oh wow, you’ve gained/lost weight” remarks, a response of “thanks! I feel great!” usually prompts a pretty quick change of subject. And for the people who aren’t trying to undermine or be negative, but are genuinely trying to compliment you, consider that comments (negative or positive) about others’ bodies often reflect the commenter’s own self-image and insecurities more than anything else. Accepting a compliment graciously and moving on, even if it feels awkward, is actually a pretty radical thing in a culture that constantly tells us that our bodies aren’t good enough.

7. Expressions of concern about your diet and exercise are essentially real-life Internet trolling, and about as productive to engage.

I’m not talking about your cousin who genuinely wants to learn about lifting. Beliefs about food and exercise can almost have a religious quality for many people, and getting into a discussion about them would be just as productive as arguing religion or politics. I try to respond in a way that makes the person feel heard but shuts down further discussion. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind!” works for almost any suggestion or concern. For “you shouldn’t be eating carbs/fat/protein/whatever food item is currently in your mouth”, I like to shrug and say “it’s Christmas/New Year’s/Tuesday”. And for warnings to women about how lifting will make you look big and bulky like a bodybuilder and men won’t be attracted to you, try these:

“I sure hope so!”

“Chicks dig muscles” 

“Bodybuilders look that way on stage because they’re extremely lean– I’ll make sure I keep some fat on.” (Then grab a cookie or three).

 This is both a picture of my daughter and how I intend to raise her

Enjoy your holidays, whatever they may be. Try not to let your friends and family get under your skin. And most importantly, remember that a healthy lifestyle that doesn’t make room for relaxation and joy… isn’t. 
  
Merry Wombootmas!

Although reading the original “what is wombooty” post is recommended, here’s an abbreviated pictorial explanation.  

 
Wombooty is also defined at Urban Dictionary. For added, wombooty goodness, here’s Fatso the Fat-Arsed Wombat from the Sydney Olympics. 

  
Keep spreading the wombooty love!  

To understand wombooty, one must first consider the humble wombat. Wombats are adorable, like oversized plush teddy bears; to see one is to want to hug one. Yet wombats are thick and powerful, with deadly-strong legs and a cartilaginous posterior that can break the skulls of their enemies. Wombats do not care for convention; they are marsupials who happily wear their pouch backwards because it suits their burrowing lifestyle. Wombats do not apologize for not being lithe like a mink or dainty like a bunny. Defiant in their solidity, they will shit tiny bricks to safeguard their territory.

Wombooty, then, is a booty that embodies the irresistible cuddliness and audacious strength of the wombat. Wombooty delivers a spine-shattering kick to beauty standards that demand shrinking and starving and diminishing the authentic self. Truth is wombooty; wombooty is truth. Wombooty is seductive and fearsome, and is not concerned about becoming too big or too round or too muscular. Wombooty is anathema to haters; it is booty become Death, destroyer of worlds. Wombooty strives only to become more awesomely wombadass, and its mantle can be claimed by all who are inspired by the sprit of the wombat. Be bold, wombrethern, be strong, and remember that anything that can be crushed by wombooty deserves to be crushed by wombooty.